Iowa Snackshot: Bacon Jewelers

Perry, Iowa

Pork fat is forever.

Hot Doug's – One of Chicago's Premier Fine Art Institutions

On a recent trip to Chicago, I had the opportunity to visit a museum a bit off the beaten track. In fact, most people have the misconception that Hot Doug's is an eatery of sorts, but it holds one of the finest collections of HotDog Art in the Nation.



Frankfurter Gothic is the iconic American painting by Grant Food. It seems to depict the traditional gender roles of early American hot dog enthusiasts (men preferred their weenies with glasses, while women preferred theirs plain).



Many will argue that Dog of Man by Rene MagrEat is one of the most famous surrealist weiner pieces. It is often thought that the modern businessman is the son of Adam, while the hot dog represents caloric temptation.



Another MagrEat piece is The Seasoning of Images. Its famous inscription "Ceci n'est pas une hot-dog" (this is not a hot dog) is in fact not a contradiction. The painting is not a hot dog, but rather an image of a hot dog, which provokes a conversation on visual representation and food.



One of the most exciting pieces at the museum was one that I had never seen before: The Keira Knightley (formerly the Jennifer Garner and the Britney Spears). The red-hot combined with the onion and relish represents the combination of the masculine with the feminine. The sport peppers and tomatoes add a freshness to the piece that invokes the inevitability of aging. The dill pickle and celery salt represent the tangy, sour obstacles in life, while the mustard reminds us all of how expensive dry cleaning is. It truly was a masterpiece.



Unfortunately, the museum's special exhibit of french fries fried in duck fat is only available on Fridays and Saturdays, but the usual exhibit of hand cut fries was a delight nonetheless. On any trip to Hot Doug's your eyeballs and tastebuds are guaranteed unparalleled cultural stimulation.

Happy National Donut Day!!!

Since there aren't any Stan Mikita Donut Shops in NY, I recommend Doughnut Plant in the LES and Peter Pan Bakery in Greenpoint. Also, Krispy Kreme is giving out free donuts today in celebration of this magical holiday.

So, go out and channel your inner Homer Simpson. Mmmmm... deep fried goodness...

New York Snackshot: Kentucky Fried Guitars

Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

Deep Fried Guitars. To put on your guitar hero.

White Cheese Pizza with Ramps aka RAMPAGE!!!

It started as another spring day at the Prospect Park Greenmarket. The sun was out, the dogs were adorable, and the strollers were out in full force. All was right in the world. I just couldn't shake this weird feeling in my stomach, though. My legs started to shake. My hands started looking dry and scaly… and maybe a little green. There was an unmistakable odor of garlicky leeks in the air. No. It couldn't be. Not again.



OMGRAMPS!!!! (An abbreviation I also use when my grandpa tells a racy joke)

After punching a few buildings and eating some tourists, I ran home with my bounty. But what to do with these coveted veggies? A while back, I made an amazing leek and ricotta pizza with walnuts that I thought would be perfect for my precious ramps. Alas, my local cheesemonger was all out of ricotta. Then I remembered the old adage: Necessity breeds awesomeness.



Plus



Equals



Yum. At the time, I really didn't see what all the crazy fuss about ramps was, but their flavor finds its way into your taste memory and stays. I'm pretty sure this will be the last thing I taste before I die, and that makes me very, very happy.

White Cheese Pizza with Ramps (based on the recipe from April's Food & Wine)

Ingredients
Dough:
1/4 c. whole-wheat flour
3/4 c. all-purpose flour, plus additional for rolling
1 1/2 tsp. active dry yeast
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. sugar
1/2 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 c. plus 2 tbsp. warm water

Topping:
10 ramps (or scallions or spring onions)
Extra-virgin olive oil, for brushing
Water-packed fresh mozzarella, cut into thin 1/8 in. slices
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/4 c. freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

Directions
1) In a stand mixer with a dough hook, mix the flours, yeast, salt, and sugar. While the mixer is running, add the oil and water. Continue to knead on low speed until the dough is firm and smooth, about 10 minutes. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap or a damp towel and let stand in a warm spot until the dough has doubled in bulk, about 1 1/2 hours.

2) Preheat the oven to 500 degrees.

3) Bring a medium saucepan of salted water to a boil. Blanch the ramps until they are bright green, but still al dente, about 1 minute. They are going to smell insane. Drain, pat dry, and cut into 1-inch lengths.

4) Punch the dough (yes! violence!) and transfer to a lightly floured work surface. Roll out the dough until it is about a 10-12 inch shape. You can roll it into a round shape, but I prefer my pizza to be sort of oval or rectangular, like a flatbread. It's, um, rustic or something. Brush the dough with olive oil, and place the mozzarella slices in an even layer. Scatter the blanched ramps on top and season lightly with salt and pepper. Finish with the Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.

5) Bake on a baking sheet covered with parchment paper (or use a pizza stone if you have one) for about 8 minutes, until the cheese has melted and the crust is crisp and browned.

6) Stuff your face.